Starting Therapy: What Brings Us In and What to Expect Along the Way

There’s a moment—quiet or loud—when something inside us whispers: I can’t keep doing this alone.
For some, it comes after months of holding everything together. For others, it surfaces after a loss, a breakup, a panic attack, a job loss, a “bad” parenting moment, or just a growing sense that life has become harder than it needs to be. No matter how it starts, the decision to seek therapy should be one of courage and hope.

So many people come to therapy believing their struggles aren’t “serious enough” or that they should’ve been able to figure it out by now. But the truth is, therapy isn’t reserved for crises. It’s a space where we untangle what hurts, name what’s been buried, and make room for something new—clarity, healing, connection, growth.

Why Do People Seek Therapy?

In my experience, there’s no single reason people reach out for help—just as there’s no single way trauma or stress shows up. Some people come in after a major life transition: a divorce, the birth of a child, a career shift, or grief. Others carry stories of trauma, anxiety, or disconnection that they’ve never had the space to speak out loud. Many seek therapy not because of one event, but because something in their day-to-day life feels off.

Sometimes it’s specific: “I’m having panic attacks.” Sometimes it’s less clear: “I’m not myself anymore.” Both are valid. Both are hard. Both are enough.

What to Expect in the Therapy “Room”

If you’ve never been to therapy before, it’s completely normal to feel unsure of what to expect. Most people imagine lying on a couch talking about their childhood, or sitting across from someone who just nods and says, “How does that make you feel?”

In reality, therapy looks a little different for everyone—but it always starts with relationship. Your first session is a chance to talk about what’s bringing you in and what you hope for. You don’t need to have a neat narrative or even clear goals. You two (yourself and your therapist) can figure that out together.

Over time, therapy becomes a space to explore how your past might be shaping your present, how your nervous system is responding to the world, and how to create more room for ease, connection, and self-trust. You two might talk, practice skills, use EMDR or ART, sit in silence, or cry, or laugh—sometimes all in the same session. It’s not linear, but it can be transformative.

Virtual vs. In-Person Therapy: What’s Right for You?

Another decision many people face when starting therapy is whether to meet virtually or in person. The good news? Both are valid, evidence-based options—and each comes with its own benefits and challenges.

Virtual therapy can offer greater flexibility, accessibility, and comfort—especially for parents, those with busy schedules, or individuals living in areas with fewer providers or a ton of traffic. It allows you to access care from the privacy of your own space, and many people find it easier to open up from the comfort of home.

In-person therapy, on the other hand, can offer a stronger sense of presence and connection for some clients. The physical space of a therapy room may feel grounding and intentional, and some people benefit from having that weekly ritual of leaving their home to focus solely on themselves.

There’s no universal right answer. What matters most is what feels safe, sustainable, and effective for you. Some clients even try both and decide from there.

I think it is important to note that if you are struggling with addiction or an eating disorder and are still active in those struggles in-person therapy is what I typically recommend until an extended period of sobriety or recovery (typically a year or longer) has been reached. Of course, this is my clinical opinion, but if virtual sessions are the only option, then at the end of the day any help is better than no help.

Finding the Right Fit Matters

One of the most important pieces of therapy is fit. You should feel safe, respected, and seen by your therapist. That doesn’t mean you’ll always feel comfortable—therapy can be challenging—but ideally you should never feel dismissed or judged.

When searching for a therapist, consider:

• Do they have experience with what I’m navigating?

• Do they affirm my identity and values?

• Do I feel a sense of warmth or ease when we talk?

• Do I feel like I can be honest—even if it’s messy?

It’s okay to ask questions or meet with a few providers before committing. Therapy is an investment, and you deserve to feel good about where you’re placing your trust. Remember just like any other interaction sometimes it is just not a good fit. You don’t have to have a reason as to why it does not feel right. At the end of the day, this is about your journey and whoever you choose to guide you through this process is up to you.

Having the Hard Conversations

Let’s be real—there will be moments in therapy that feel awkward or hard to say out loud. Maybe you didn’t agree with something your therapist said. Maybe something triggered you and you’re afraid to bring it up. Maybe you’re scared to talk about what really brought you in.

Those are the moments that matter most. Therapy is a practice in honesty and vulnerability—not just with your therapist, but with yourself. Saying “I’m not ready to talk about that yet,” or “Last week felt a little off to me,” or even “I’m not sure this is helping,” are all brave and important. These will also lead to conversations that will likely strengthen your relationship with your therapist, or perhaps let you know that it might be time to move on to a different provider who will be a better fit.

A therapist should welcome that kind of honesty. It deepens the work, builds trust, and gives you practice having honest conversations outside the therapy room too.

If You’re Thinking About Starting

There’s no perfect time to begin therapy. You don’t need to wait until you’re drowning to ask for a life vest. Whether you’ve been considering it for months or today is the first day it occurred to you, you are allowed to start now.

In my practice, I support individuals navigating anxiety, trauma, identity shifts, postpartum challenges, and life transitions. I also offer EMDR and will be offering ART sessions (starting in October 2025) in collaboration with other therapists, so you can continue working with your primary provider while engaging in focused trauma reprocessing work here. I also have amazing, contracted therapists who offer support with numerous other areas if my specific specialties do not resonate with you.

Whether you choose to meet virtually or in person, therapy should be a space that supports your voice, your pace, and your process. At the end of the day, how you get support matters less than that you get support.

You don’t have to do this alone—and you never did.

Interested in working together or just want to learn more?
📧 Email me at referrals.mmhc@gmail.com
🌐 Visit www.traumawisehealing.com