When Words Get Watered Down: The Difference Between Clinical Terms and Pop Psychology
By Sarah Benitez-Zandi LCSW
It’s become increasingly common to scroll through social media or overhear conversations that sound like excerpts from a psychology textbook—only, often, they’re not. Words like narcissist, gaslighting, boundaries, and triggered are now part of our everyday vocabulary. And while it’s a win that people are more comfortable talking about mental health, we also need to talk about how these words are being used—and misused.
Let’s clear the air: clinical language has power. These words were created to describe very real and often very serious psychological phenomena. When watered down for convenience or weaponized in casual conversation, they lose their meaning and—more importantly—can hurt both the person being labeled and the person doing the labeling.
Narcissist vs. Unhealthy Behavior
Clinical Definition: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a diagnosable mental health condition characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. It must cause significant distress or impairment in functioning.
Pop Culture Usage: "They canceled plans on me twice—what a narcissist."
"He posted three selfies in one day—classic narcissist."
"She likes to talk about her career a lot, total narcissist energy."
"He didn’t text me back for hours. Must be a narcissist."
"She wants to break up with me? Wow, narcissist much?"
The Problem: Not every selfish or inconsiderate behavior equals narcissism. Labeling someone as a narcissist without context or diagnosis is not only inaccurate—it can pathologize ordinary human flaws and undermine people who are actually dealing with NPD or the effects of a relationship with someone who has it.
Gaslighting vs. Disagreeing
Clinical Definition: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone intentionally makes another person doubt their perceptions, memories, or reality for the purpose of control or abuse.
Pop Culture Usage: "He said I was wrong about the time of our dinner reservation—total gaslighting."
"She disagreed with my version of events—she’s gaslighting me."
"He forgot our anniversary. That’s gaslighting, right?"
"I called her out and she got defensive. Total gaslighter."
The Problem: Disagreeing with someone, forgetting something, or having a different perspective is not gaslighting. True gaslighting is sustained and deliberate. Using this term incorrectly not only waters it down—it can also escalate normal relationship conflict into something more inflammatory.
Boundaries vs. Control
Clinical Definition: Boundaries are the emotional, physical, and psychological limits we set to protect our well-being and define how we allow others to treat us AND what we are willing to participate in. It is NOT about trying to control how someone else behaves, it IS about letting them know how we will be responding should they choose to continue to behave in a way that we find problematic.
Pop Culture Usage: "I told her she can’t talk to her ex anymore because that’s my boundary."
"I blocked him without explanation—boundaries!"
"I told my roommate what time she can use the kitchen—just setting boundaries."
"I don’t like being criticized, so that’s a boundary."
The Problem: Boundaries are about defining what you will do or not do—they are not about controlling someone else’s behavior. Saying "my boundary is you can’t do that" is often more about control than self-protection. Misunderstanding this can erode trust and create power struggles in relationships.
Triggered vs. Uncomfortable
Clinical Definition: A trigger is a stimulus—like a smell, sound, image, or situation—that causes someone to re-experience a traumatic event, often associated with PTSD or other trauma-related disorders.
Pop Culture Usage: "I’m so triggered by that song—it reminds me of high school."
"That email tone was triggering."
"Seeing someone eat loudly triggers me."
"Mondays are so triggering."
The Problem: While emotional reactions are valid, feeling annoyed, uncomfortable, or irritated isn’t the same as being triggered in a trauma sense. Overusing this term risks minimizing the lived experience of trauma survivors and can confuse genuine trauma responses with general discomfort.
Trauma vs. Distress
Clinical Definition: Trauma refers to a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, potentially leading to long-term psychological symptoms such as flashbacks, dissociation, or hypervigilance.
Pop Culture Usage: "I’m traumatized from that awkward Zoom call."
"That bad haircut traumatized me."
"Missing my morning coffee is traumatic."
"That movie ending was seriously traumatic."
The Problem: Not all upsetting events are traumatic. Diluting the term undermines the real impact trauma has on survivors and can lead to misunderstandings in support, treatment, and awareness.
OCD vs. Preferences
Clinical Definition: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a chronic mental health disorder characterized by unwanted, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or rituals (compulsions) that a person feels compelled to perform to relieve distress.
Pop Culture Usage: "I’m so OCD—I just love organizing my books by color."
"I have to have my pens perfectly lined up. Total OCD."
"I can’t stand typos—it’s my OCD."
"I clean all the time. I’m basically OCD."
The Problem: OCD is not about neatness or quirks. Using it to describe personal preferences trivializes the very real distress experienced by people living with this disorder.
Self-Care vs. Avoidance
Clinical Definition: Self-care involves intentional actions taken to preserve or improve one’s health and well-being across emotional, physical, and mental domains.
Pop Culture Usage: "I skipped work and binged Netflix for 10 hours—self-care!"
"Bought myself five pairs of shoes—self-care."
"Blocked everyone and ghosted for a week—self-care vibes."
"Wine night again—it’s called self-care."
The Problem: While rest is part of self-care, chronic avoidance or escapism can actually exacerbate mental health issues. When self-care is reduced to indulgence, we risk missing the deeper value of setting healthy routines, boundaries, and support systems.
Imposter Syndrome vs. Self-Doubt
Clinical Definition: Imposter Syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be, often accompanied by fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite evidence of success.
Pop Culture Usage: "I felt weird at that meeting—total imposter syndrome."
"She complimented my work and I froze—imposter vibes."
"I don’t think I deserve to be here. Must be imposter syndrome."
"Everyone’s smarter than me. I’m such an imposter."
The Problem: Imposter Syndrome is more than momentary discomfort. It’s a persistent pattern that can interfere with professional performance and mental health. Throwing the term around casually can obscure how deeply it affects some individuals.
Bipolar vs. Moodiness
Clinical Definition: Bipolar Disorder is a serious mental health condition involving distinct mood episodes, including periods of depression and periods of mania or hypomania that significantly impact daily functioning.
Pop Culture Usage: "She’s so bipolar—one minute she’s laughing, the next she’s mad."
"I changed my mind twice—classic bipolar behavior."
"He was excited this morning and now he’s quiet. Bipolar much?"
"This weather is bipolar."
The Problem: Equating everyday mood swings with bipolar disorder contributes to stigma and misinformation. It can lead to misdiagnosis, shame, and isolation for those who are actually managing the condition.
Why This Matters: Words Have Power
When we misuse clinical terms, we:
Pathologize normal behavior, making it harder to talk about actual mental illness
Dilute serious experiences, minimizing what people with real trauma or disorders go through
Worsen communication, escalating conflict and discouraging resolution
More than anything, we lose precision—and with it, the ability to name what’s really going on.
What You Can Do Instead
Pause before labeling: Ask, “Am I using this word because it accurately describes the situation—or because it’s become familiar shorthand?”
Describe behavior, not diagnosis: “They were really dismissive” is more constructive than “They’re a narcissist.”
Stay curious: Instead of assuming, explore what you're feeling and what’s happening beneath the surface.
Final Thoughts
Mental health awareness is a great thing—but only if we’re willing to use the language with care. Let’s keep the conversation going, but let’s also be thoughtful with our words. Because language can heal, but it can also hurt—and the difference often lies in how accurately we use it.
Whether you're a clinician, a client, or just someone trying to better understand yourself and others, a little precision goes a long way.