Family Estrangement & Reconciliation Therapy

When the relationship has broken down, the way forward isn't always obvious.

Family estrangement rarely begins with one conversation.

More often, there have been years of hurt, conflict, misunderstandings, unmet expectations, boundary struggles, attempts to repair, and conversations that somehow leave everyone feeling even further apart.

Sometimes contact gradually becomes less frequent.

Sometimes someone asks for space.

Sometimes there is a rupture and communication stops altogether.

And sometimes a family realizes they are growing dangerously close to that point and wants help before the relationship breaks completely.

For an adult child, distance may feel necessary after years of feeling unheard, hurt, or unable to establish healthier boundaries.

For a parent, that same distance may feel devastating, confusing, or difficult to understand, especially when their memories of the relationship are very different.

Whether you're already estranged, considering reconciliation, or trying to prevent further distance, therapy can create space to understand how you got here and what might be possible from here.

Estrangement Is Usually More Complicated Than “Toxic” or “Entitled”

The way we talk about family estrangement can make it sound remarkably simple.

One narrative says adult children are finally setting healthy boundaries with harmful parents. Another suggests they've become too willing to abandon family relationships when things become difficult.

But real families rarely fit neatly into either story.

Sometimes there has been significant emotional harm, repeated boundary violations, or patterns that make maintaining a relationship painful or unsafe.

Other times, there are conflicting memories, generational differences, changing expectations, and unsuccessful attempts at repair that have created distance over time.

Sometimes separation is necessary. Sometimes relationships can be repaired. And sometimes the healthiest relationship possible looks different from what anyone originally hoped.

Therapy gives us room to understand what's true for your family without assuming the answer before we've heard your story.

You Don't Have to Agree About What Happened

One of the hardest parts of repairing a family rupture is that the people involved may understand what happened very differently.

A parent may feel blindsided by an adult child's decision to stop communicating. An adult child may feel they spent years trying to be heard before finally creating distance.

One person may want an apology. Another may believe they've already apologized. Someone may desperately want reconciliation while the other isn't sure they're ready.

We don't have to agree on every detail of the past before meaningful work can begin.

But that doesn't mean overlooking harmful behavior, minimizing someone's experience, or moving forward without accountability.

Sometimes the work involves understanding why the same relationship was experienced so differently. Other times, it means acknowledging harm, recognizing what needs to change, or accepting that agreement may never come.

Understanding another person's experience doesn't require you to abandon your own. And meaningful repair requires more than simply agreeing to move forward.

A Middle Path Through Estrangement

Understanding the relationship without assuming who is right, who is wrong, or whether reconciliation should happen.

The middle path isn't about splitting the difference between two perspectives. It's about understanding the relationship well enough to determine what meaningful repair would actually require, and whether that repair is possible.

Estrangement Therapy Can Begin in Different Places

There isn't one right time to seek support. The work begins with understanding where you are and what you hope might change.

How We Begin

A thoughtful process that respects each person's experience and readiness.

The goal isn't to force reconciliation. It's to understand what meaningful change would require.

My Approach to Estrangement & Reconciliation

I'm Sarah Benitez-Zandi, MSW, LCSW, and a significant focus of my practice is helping adult children and parents navigate complicated, strained, and estranged relationships.

My work draws from attachment theory, family systems, and trauma-informed approaches, along with specialized training in family estrangement and reconciliation, including training with Dr. Joshua Coleman.

I recognize that family relationships rarely fit neatly into a single narrative. Parents and adult children may carry very different experiences of the same relationship, and both deserve the opportunity to be heard without assuming that their experiences or responsibilities are identical.

I approach this work with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to address difficult truths. That includes recognizing harm, exploring longstanding patterns, and helping families consider what meaningful change would actually require.

My role isn't to convince anyone to reconcile. It's to help you understand the relationship more clearly and determine what a healthier way forward might look like.

Investment

Family estrangement and reconciliation therapy is billed based on the length of the session, not the number of people participating.

Getting Started

Separate 90-minute assessments for each participating adult, followed by joint sessions when clinically appropriate.

Payment and Insurance

Insurance is not accepted. Family members can decide how to share the cost.

FAQ