Family Estrangement & Reconciliation Therapy

When the relationship has broken down, the way forward isn't always obvious.

Family estrangement rarely begins with one conversation.

More often, there have been years of hurt, conflict, misunderstanding, unmet expectations, boundary struggles, attempts to repair, and conversations that somehow leave everyone feeling even further apart.

Sometimes contact gradually becomes less frequent.

Sometimes someone asks for space.

Sometimes there is a rupture and communication stops altogether.

And sometimes a family realizes they are getting dangerously close to that point and wants help before the relationship breaks completely.

Whether you are already estranged, considering reconnecting, or trying to prevent further distance, therapy can create space to understand how you got here and what might be possible from here.

Estrangement Is Usually More Complicated Than "Toxic" or "Entitled"

The way we talk about family estrangement can make it sound remarkably simple.

One narrative says adult children are finally setting healthy boundaries with harmful parents.

Another says an entire generation has become too willing to abandon family relationships when they become difficult.

Real families rarely fit neatly into either story.

There may be trauma and genuine harm.

There may also be misunderstandings, generational differences, changing expectations, unsuccessful attempts at repair, conflicting memories, and people protecting themselves in ways that unintentionally create more distance.

Sometimes separation is necessary.

Sometimes relationships can be repaired.

And sometimes the healthiest relationship possible looks different from what anyone originally hoped it would be.

Therapy gives us room to find out which is true for your family.

You Don't Have to Agree About What Happened

One of the hardest parts of repairing a family rupture is that the people involved may understand the rupture completely differently.

A parent may feel blindsided by an adult child's decision to step away.

An adult child may feel they spent years trying to communicate before finally creating distance.

One person may want an apology.

Another may believe they have apologized repeatedly.

Someone may desperately want reconciliation while another person isn't sure they are ready.

We don't have to establish one universally agreed-upon version of the family before meaningful work can happen.

Instead, we can begin understanding what each person experienced, what impact remains, and what would actually need to change for contact to feel different.

A Middle Path Through Estrangement

I don't approach estrangement with a predetermined outcome.

I will not pressure an adult child to reconcile simply because someone is family.

I will not tell a parent that wanting a relationship with their adult child is inherently a failure to respect boundaries.

I won't minimize harmful behavior in the name of keeping a family together.

And I won't assume permanent estrangement is the only path toward healing when meaningful repair may still be possible.

Instead, we look carefully at:

• What contributed to the rupture

• What each person has already tried

• Where accountability may be needed

• Which patterns continue to interfere with connection

• What boundaries are necessary

• Whether expectations for the relationship are realistic

• What each person is willing and able to change

The goal isn't reconciliation at any cost.

The goal is clarity about whether a healthier relationship can be built and what it would require from everyone involved.

Estrangement Therapy Can Begin in Different Places

You do not need to already be reunited and ready for family sessions.

I work with families at different points in the process, including:

Before estrangement

The relationship is deteriorating and someone is considering significantly reducing or ending contact.

During estrangement

Contact is limited or nonexistent, and one or more family members want help understanding the rupture or considering what comes next.

Considering reconciliation

Someone is thinking about reopening contact but wants to approach it thoughtfully rather than returning immediately to the relationship as it was.

After contact resumes

Communication has restarted, but the relationship feels fragile and everyone is unsure how to prevent old patterns from returning.

How We Begin

When multiple family members are willing to participate, I typically meet individually with each person first.

This allows everyone to share their experience of the rupture, what has happened during the period of distance, what they hope might happen next, and what concerns they have about reconnecting.

From there, we determine whether joint therapy is appropriate and how quickly to proceed.

There is no requirement that everyone enter the process wanting the same outcome.

What matters is whether there is enough willingness to honestly explore what happened and what would need to be different moving forward.

My Approach to Estrangement & Reconciliation

My work is informed by trauma, attachment, family systems, and relational approaches, as well as specialized training in parent and adult child estrangement and reconciliation, including training with Dr. Joshua Coleman.

I take a middle-path approach that makes room for boundaries and connection, impact and context, accountability and compassion.

Because reconciliation isn't simply resuming contact.

Meaningful reconciliation requires building a relationship that is different enough that the original patterns don't simply begin again.

Investment

Family therapy is billed based on time, not the number of family members participating.

60 minutes: $235
90 minutes: $352.50

Most joint family sessions are 90 minutes. Families can decide how they would like to divide the cost among participating family members.

Trauma Wise Healing is a private-pay practice.